Although Djibouti may seem like the arsehole of Africa, living in Meknes, Morocco under the reign of the terrifying Mulai Ismail couldn’t have been much better. In fact, it would have been almost as bad as opening a copy of Playboy and, there as the center pull-out, seeing Gordon Brown lounging seductively in a pair of skin-tight orange speedos. So, Ismail or El Gordo? Read this and then decide…

Fes, farts, and the worst jobs in the world. These are just 3 of the delightful topics covered in this latest scintillating dispatch. Oh, and there’s a bit on the Tanneries, too.

A legend in his own lunchtime, Micheal Palin has inspired the masses and increased headgear sales the world over. On a more personal note, Michael, thanks for letting us all know about the Tanneries of Fes. I owe you one.

There’s a definite art to Medina surfing. Master the hop, suck, dart and shuffle, and the city is yours.

…‘Thursday. 11 AM - get delightfully stoned and spend the rest of the day supping mint tea’…Now, there’s a plan – but watch out for the yellow slipper brigade.

Welcome to the year 1500, where everything is blue apart from our duo. In fact, they couldn’t be happier, and its all thanks to the Moorish Medina of Chefchaouen.

Should I stay or should I go? I know a song about that. Well, Lauren and Nathan could go, but only if they can master the art of capturing a Moroccan Petit Taxi. By the way, do you have the time on you?

Just one, narrow stretch of water and it’s a whole new way of doing business. On their first day on the African mainland – in the Port of Tangier, no less – have the new arrivals just had a taste of things to come?